Prison Wives Club, Episode 1

Episode 1: Some Raggedy Prison Wife

So last night, Lifetime aired a new series - Prison Wives Club. I guess I've been spoiled by watching the "Real Housewives" franchise on Bravo because I was shocked to hear there was such a show. I mean really? Prison Wives Club? I'm not one to put myself on a pedestal but I'm sorry if my husband goes to jail... I'm pulling a "Phaedra" and will be divorcing his ass. He obviously didn't think about his family before he committed whatever heinous act, so why should I put my life on hold and wait for you? 

So there are four women who were introduced on last nights episode: Jhemini, Kate, Ana and LaQuisha. Their husbands are in prison with sentences ranging from 10 years to 60 years. 

Jhemini - this woman is under the impression that because her husband is in prison for aggravated assault that she's better than the women whose husbands are in prison for murder. Lady, just because he didn't kill the man doesn't make it better. Even at the Prison Support group meeting, she walked out because she has this sense of arrogance about her. However, she married her  husband knowing he had a 10 year prison sentence to complete. That's just dumb. Now she spends one weekend a month driving to the prison for one night with her husband. Her family doesn't know she's married let alone to a man who is in prison. So she didn't wear her ring when she visited them and of course she lost it. And of course she had to tell her husband. Well he got mad when she told him and hung up the phone. WTF?!?! I'm paying for this call and you hang up on me but will be calling back soon to put money on your books.  I just can't live like that. 

Kate - she's pretty down to earth. Her husband is in jail for assault as well. She got a tattoo coverup during her opening scene to remove the name of the Car Club she and her husband were apart of. Let me just say that was the shittiest coverup I have seen ever in my life. I have 8 tattoos and I follow a few famous tattoo artists on Instagram. The artist didn't even blend it. Just kind of drew over it. It looks like a big ass blob when it should be a dream catcher. You could still read the words, "Family Ties." I really didn't pay that much attention to her after that. I was just mad at her and her tattoo artist. 

Ana - this dummy. It's obvious this girl has self esteem issues. Anytime you let a man who you meet on www.writeaprisoner.com was convicted of a life sentence at 15 years old, been in prison almost as long as you have been alive control what pants you choose to wear, you have some issues. She's 29 years old and her husband has been in prison for 27 years. She's also lying to her parents telling them that her husband is a prison guard. So now she's living with her two gay BFFs to save money because a new law passed that anyone convicted of a harsh sentence under age 18 and served 25 years can be released. That is just dumb. See, I know there will be problems in marriage. But you don't need to go into the marriage creating problems.. Like dating a killer.

LaQuisha - she seems like she has sense. She was married before to what seems like a "good man," has child, has a friend that thinks she's wasting her life being married to a man who was originally sentenced to 75 years (his sentence was reduced to 60 years and he will be released in 2060 - I will be 70 years old, God's will). They've been married about 14 months and he's been "down" for 13 years. He sent her a Facebook message and now they are married. Now she spends 30 minutes twice a week paying God knows how much to talk to her husband on www.jpay.com and her weekends bringing her daughter to see her husband in jail. So of course y'all know I had to research this J-pay. I looked up Dixon Correctional Institute in Jackson, LA. The price varies per state, prison, etc. However, for this prison - it costs about $6 to send a one page email. AN EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!! Google and Yahoo email accounts are free. I'm not paying to talk or email ANYBODY. This is 2014. Long distance calls are no more. You shouldn't have to pay to talk to people. That's just dumb to me. 

So all in all, this seems like it will be filled with mess, drama and messy woman - which is perfect for a reality show. Check back for next week's recap. 

~Bree

I'm baaaaaaackkkkkk!!!!!

I can't believe it's been almost 3 years since I last blogged. That was WAYYY too long. I promise to never go that long again. Plus, I am pretty sure that my Facebook friends were tired of my multiple status updates during the shows I watch. Be on the lookout for blogs from different reality shows. I'm excited to finally start this up again. So with that being said, I'm back! 

~Bree

RHOA - Law by Sheree

Sheree

First off, why is Bob reducing his child support on something that he's NEVER paid. But, that's what you get when you marry for money and not love.

Phaedra hit Sheree's situation ON THE HEAD WITH A NAIL!!! Why would you buy a Porsche when you're complaining about back child support? Who wears Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana to court to complain about $3,000 worth of child support? What judge is going to take you seriously when you are begging for money but wearing Louboutins, Chanel, etc.? I mean how do you not grasp that concept? Whatever happend to a nice skirt or pant suit? Then she has THE NERVE to say how the Atlanta Court System is rigged to be against women! That MAY be true, but don't feed into the stereotype by wearing all these designer clothes and begging for money.

Why Sheree don't wanna take her ex to court? Make your paper boo boo! Sheree feels as if Bob is taking "advantage" of her. Well......what was she doing when she was marrying him for money? Because he sure ain't no looker. I'm sorry, call me superficial or whatever but if you have lazy eye, I don't know how long our relationship could work out. I'd be too busy figuring out which eye to look at instead of getting to know who you really are.

So, Bob is representing himself? Hmmm....He must can't afford a stylist or a suit either with this wrinkled ass shirt he has on, with NO undershirt on. Oooh CONTEMPT, I did my research paper on that. Now don't ask me anything on it (don't worry, I got a B). Wait, so Bob wants furniture. I guess since he's only making $3,000 a month, he needs furniture for himself? No..

Did Bob just poke his tongue out as if he were saying "nanny nanny boo boo" and run off like a little child? I hope the judge sees this and raises his child support. That was TOTALLY uncalled for.


Kandi

Uh oh! Look at Kandi upgrading her bidness!

Charles Grant is keeping it real. "I don't believe in having Louboutin's and Gucci but riding around in a Honda Civic." That doesn't make sense to me either. Priorities people!!! At one point, didn't he play for the Saints? I think I remember his name..

But Charles said, "mens" - is that a word? I mean I know you say "Men's Restroom" but you don't say, "You can't judge us mens" - like that doesn't make sense. I'm really big on grammar, like if you have horrible grammar 1) expect to be corrected or 2) just don't talk around me.

Kandi needs to take her daughter, Riley running or bike riding or to a dance aerobics class or something because Riley is chubby. I know I'm not the skinniest person, but in my defense - I didn't "blow up" until I was about 11 or 12. Riley is 9 and her mom is rich. My parents were not. She can afford to get her a trainer or something. Well, we did do this Pennington Weight Loss study and I gained weight, so that was a #FAIL. But this isn't about me, Riley needs more than a hula hoop. And while you're at it Kandi, make Kim's daughter come too!




Kim

Kim never uses the proper terms for private parts. When I was a child, my mother scolded my brother and I for saying "wee wee" and "cat" and "pee pee" and "poo poo" - we had to say "penis, vagina, urinate and defecate." So yes, people made fun of us for being 5 years old saying, "Mommy, I have to defecate." But we know the proper terms for words. I'm pretty sure Brielle, Ariana and now Baby KJ don't know the proper terms because their mother spoke "baby" to them.

Every time I look at Kim's father, I think about how he pratically BEGGED Phaedra for a job! LMBO!!! Kim doesn't seem suitable to be a parent. She doesn't change his diapers. She's afraid of his "wee wee." She doesn't clean up after her dog. All she does is breastfeed. I mean I know childbirth is a process and you need to heal, but GOT DAMN - what else do you have to do all day. You have no job. Kroy is in NFL and even though they were in the Lockout - he still had to train to get right for when the season started. Smh!!!



Cynthia

Ohhhh Cynthia and NeNe are "thrifting." I want to go SO BADLY! And NeNe is so saditty, "Miss I Don't Wear Clothes Other People Wear" - okay, so how do you know clothes that you've tried on other people haven't worn? I digress.


Phaedra

Phaedra needs to keep doing her job and Sheree needs to keep her day job (which is nothing). She went to school for this, you just watching Law & Order and trying to be Gloria Allred. It ain't gone work boo boo.


Sidebar - Bravo needs to do a better job of these add-in voices because I watch enough reality TV to know when something was added in for more dramatic/comedic effect. Just saying...

RHOA: Three Wigs And a Baby

Sooooo....why does Kim need all that to go have a baby? A wig, a blowdryer, etc. What happened to a baby bag and a gown? Oh look, there goes Kim's flunky, I mean Sweetie. I wonder what Kim looks like without her wig - I bet she has hair, but just doesn't know what to do with it...

Oooh, I didn't know that Kim had pre-ecclampsia. That's serious. The Duggar lady had the same thing and her baby almost died. This is serious.

Let me just say this, Cynthia is a high-fashion model. Why does she ALWAYS seem to have a hair crisis? Like this ponytail attached to her head, doesn't even LOOK real.

I'm confused. Sheree keeps bitching about child support not being paid but yet she's building Chateau Sheree. That doesn't make any sense. PRIORITIES PLEASE!!! I understand that she may have money for herself, but she's acting like she has NO MONEY and can't support her kids without his child support. FYI - child support DOES NOT EQUAL quality time with your children.

I'll just say this, if my ex hasn't paid child support but is able and can afford it - he won't be seeing his child(ren). Does this make me a bitter black woman?

I never knew Russell Simmons and Cynthia Bailey dated. Hmm...NeNe is right. He does like them young because Kimora was young and so is his current girlfriend. NeNe may be interested in John as well since she had to go change clothes...smh! 

Phaedra's hair in this confessional when she's in this blue outfit is ON POINT! Damn...Judge gave him a fine of $1,068 and 6 months probation for ONE ounce of weed?! That's A LOT!!! I'm getting my windows tinted for Christmas (well it's on my list) I hope the people don't tint mine that dark. I can't afford all them fines!

Russell is using this as an oppourtunity because no one knows about this damn book. Who sits in an office with 1908 books on his desk when cameras mysteriously walk into your office? But he's on TV and I'm not - I'm trying to get where he is so I digress...

If it was 20 years ago, 20 minutes ago - YOU STILL CHEATED!!! Smh! Niggas will never understand this.

Cynthia just had to say "Don't be disrespectful" because she know Peter is from the islands and is crazy and will whip somebody ass...just think about if the Peter/Apollo situation had escalated.

Y'all every noticed how Kim never says Kroy's name. It's either "babe" or "love" - I hope I don't become that person...well when I get a man LMBO!

Why did Kim lie to the nurse when she asked if she was a cigarette smoker? Well I mean, not now, but she has chain smoked. Lying through her damn teeth, she could have at least mentioned that, but it's not my baby.

I love Mama Joyce! "Well I put it on at home and complimented myself" - too funny! Ah Ah! For Mama Joyce to be posing on top of that car like that! LMBO! Omg I CAN NOT DEAL!

See this is what I don't like. Why Sheree can't go in another and talk to her mama on speakerphone about this child support mess? No, she has to speak on the phone with her son in the room. I know from experience that that boy heard EVERY WORD that his mama said. Parents don't know when to separate themselves.

But about Sheree wanting Bob to pay her utilities...is he paying SPOUSAL support? Or CHILD support? Because there IS a difference. Pay your own damn bills Sheree and let him supplement what you do, you shouldn't depend on it. He hasn't paid in 4 years, what make you think he gonna just up and pay now? Live within your means and you won't be having to have these conversations.

But I'm PRETTY sure Bob is making more than $3,000 a month. That's $36,000 a year. He made MILLIONS in the NFL and now he just making $36K? I find that hard to believe. *puts finger on chin and hmmmmms*

Wait, this is the John that NeNe is talking about. o_O - OHHH...OKAY! Smh! He doesn't look that good with money. This dinner is making me awkward, so I can only imagine how NeNe feels. One question, how you have someone serenaded in a different language, well other than French or Spanish? That doesn't make sense...

Aw man, I was expecting some jewelry when I saw that blue box...not a pen. I'm disappointed. Moving on...

Cynthia's friend, Kithe looks amazing! Weight loss is a beautiful thing. I want a gay friend, oh wait - I may have one...

Cynthia needs to stop letting people know that she's not happy in her marriage. This is not the first time this season that she's let on that she's not happy with Peter and being married to him. At least, she didn't pull a Kim K and divorce him after 72 days.

Cynthia is going to end up resenting Peter because she left New York FOR Peter. That's not good...

Kim's children are annoying me. LMBO! I bet she's like "Y'all need to leave because y'all pissing me off" - too much! Look she just did, "Why don't y'all go get something to eat?" and her poor daughter couldn't take the hint, "But I'm not hungry..."

I've never had a child so I can't say how the pain should feel but I don't think that all that cussing was necessary. Bite a pillow and keep it moving, but like I said - I've never had a child so I don't know how it feels.

AWWWW the baby!!! I'm happy she didn't say "EWW..." like Phaedra did when she first saw her son. Kim said her son breastfeeds, he's only an hour old. My friend lied to me. She told me that milk ducts don't open until a few days after the baby is born. I knew that was a lie, because my cousin had her baby in the backseat of her car and was breastfeeding when the EMS came.

Can't wait for next episode on Tuesday: lots of laughs and cries!

Sorry it's been a while...

Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while. I've been REALLY busy since my last blog. Hard classes, becoming a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha, bonding with my line sisters & prophytes, baby-sitting, work, baking, you name it! But now that Fall 2011 is over, I will be blogging A LOT more! And next semester, I promise to blog throughout the semester.


Stay tuned for my blog on RHOA tonight. Can't wait to see what drama happens tonight!

Big Brother 14 - 7/28 Eviction

What's with everyone throwing POV competitions this season? Keith threw it and went home. Dominic threw and is going home. FYI - when you are on BB, you should NEVERRRRRRR throw a POV competition, especially if you're nominated. Who does that?? 

Shelly and Jordan are some tattle-tails! I'm going to give them some tails like I make the kids I baby-sit wear if I tattle. They can't hold water for nothing!!! Seriously? 

Brendon is so annoying. He talks to Rachel any kind of way and thinks he's the ruler of the world because Rachel pumps his ego up. Daniele hasn't talked to her father in 3 years...what makes you think she will take any crap from you? You don't matter! *in my Evelyn Lozada voice* "You are a non-motherfucking factor boo boo" 

I love Jeff and Jordan but I don't know.....something seems odd about them. Jeff seems like Jordan's bigger brother or father and not her boyfriend and lover. Jeff confronts Dominic about the backdooring plan. Dominic says he doesn't know where it came from. Dominic also says that it's Daniele's fault. NOPE!!! It's your fault because you started running your mouth to everyone. Your fault, no one elses!

I love Dom, but he doesn't know what to do! He keeps trying to fix the situation but he keeps on digging a bigger hole for himself.  Meanwhile Jeff and Brendon think they are rulers of the world in this BB house because they are the Vets. The Vets think they run the entire house. Someone needs to set them straight...maybe Daniele will since the couples twist is up and everyone can compete in competitions. 

Brendon is a sexist and macho-man. He talks to women in such a condescending way. Cassi, Kalia. Best believe, his dumb ass who studied "rocket science" wouldn't talk to me that way. 

Jordan is just as messy as they come. No one takes her seriously though because of her accent. "Let's get everyone and sit it down and talk about it." Jeff mentions that when Kalia wanted to backdoor Jeff/Jordan that they were friends. Why is everyone worried about being friends? This is a game! Daniele is the ONLY one who is playing the game and not worried about making friends. Dani has the BEST social and physical game and she can't even play. I'm ready for her to start playing!

The live show!!!!

Seems like Adam's "Vote for Me" speech is like heyyyy Dom is going home; I'm just saying this just because Julie asked me to. Dom's speech kind of reminds me of Chima's speech; except Dom knew he was going home. He basically said, "EFF YOU!" to everyone without cursing! 

Here's how the votes went:

Jeff: Dominic

Jordan: Dominic

Kalia: Dominic

Daniele: Adam 

Brendon: Dominic

Shelly: Dominic

Lawon: Dominic 

Porsche: Dominic 

I do not like this crowd that Big Brother has outside the house for the eviction episodes. I liked when it was really a walk of shame (in past seasons). And why are these people cheering? What's there to be happy about? He just lost his chance at $500,000 or $50,000. That's not laughing matter. 

Lawon's goodbye speech was hilarious! I think they chose him just because he's CRAY CRAY!!! Jordan's imitation of Rachel's infamous quote, "No one comes between me and my man," was just as funny! Big Brother did cast some characters this season. I wonder what the house would be like if Evel Dick was still there? 

It's an endurance HOH competition. I'm pretty sure it'll come down to Rachel, Brendon, Jeff and Daniele. Kalia, Shelly, Porsche and Lawon don't have a chance. 

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Christmas Episode

I guess blogging is my future. I'm at the Louisiana Baptist Youth Encampment and just auditioned for a role in the Annual Drama, but didn't get it. If I had gotten the role, I wouldn't have been blogging. I didn't get it, so here I am! 


I have a hunch as to why I didn't get it. While at the drama, the girl who got my role was thanking one of the directors. Her speech went as follows, "I'd like to thank one of the directors, my mother..." - I knew I didn't get it because I knew that she went to church with one of the directors, but I had no idea that they were mother and daughter. Oh well, God knew what he was doing because I got a chance to blog on the same night as the episode AND I got a chance to minister to people through mime. I'll see if I can figure out how to post some pictures and the video of the mime performance. 


 I'm so proud and happy that Joey and Melissa kicked Monica Chacon out of the party. I'm also happy to see Melissa and Teresa dancing together. I know that everything can't be forgotten in an instant, but I'm glad they are putting things away and enjoying the holidays. 


Here Kim G goes stirring up trouble. Her friend, Monica got kicked out of the party - so I guess she's trying to save face and make herself look better. However, Teresa is right...Kim G does look like a duck. 


Mama Caroline is setting Kim G straight! Caroline will set you straight. Kim G needs to be set straight! She's crazy! Chris Manzo (Caroline's son) had to escort Kim G out. In the end, Kim G got kicked out of the party...just like Monica Chacon. I'm starting to think that Melissa shouldn't throw parties because every time - there's just DRAMAAAAA!!! 


Kim G is now stirring up drama with the relationship of the friendship of her son and Caroline's son. Kim G needs to get a hobby, man, dog or all of the above because obviously, she's craving attention. She just wants to be on the camera because of all this drama she's causing. She came to hurt because she thinks Teresa called her "Kim Grannytelly." 


Okay, I know Teresa and Joe have four daughters but I really didn't need to know that you all are going to make passionate love all night. Ew that's just gross. I don't want to imagine anyone having sex, but myself. Plain and simple. 


Here Kathy is cooking. Maybe she's using this as a chance to promote her restaurant or whatever. I'm so done with her and her two-faced husband of hers. "I didn't get a chance to invite her." Uhhh, what about text, email, phone call??? Kathy's mama just as messy as she is...


Teresa invited Melissa and the kids over for Christmas. Baby steps, baby steps. I'm excited to see how that all works out. 


Caroline is backing giving advice to people. She seems like a great person to get advice from. She tells it like it is, but also in a loving way. 


Teresa's house for Christmas Eve. Teresa's parents are here. Everyone is having fun. Let's see if that lasts when Melissa gets there. Now we see Melissa getting her kids ready, and she keeps saying "It's Jesus' birthday" - omg when will she stop?! Antonia (Melissa's daughter) asked how old Jesus was and Melissa dumb ass says "He's 89" - really bitch? Jesus died in like 32 AD. So you could at least say 2,000 years old. And not 89!!!


Caroline's house seems stressful during Christmas. All of these people, would make me overwhelmed. It's too many people. I want a big family, but they just got too many people. I bet Caroline calling Kim G "a fool" is going to come up at the reunion, when Kim G pops up at the reunion, to which she's not a housewife...


OMG! Look at all these people at Caroline's house. It's just too many people. Aw! Caroline and Al are so in love. "I love you boobie" - that's just so cute! I want to be old and in love like them. 


Ashley, I feel you girl. I know my dad loves me, but I don't think he likes me. Scrooge...is just a Scrooge. All I can say is BAH HUM BUG! when he makes me mad. But I'm still having a hard time coming to grips with that. I do need to listen (like Ashley), but I'm not as selfish and inconsiderate as Ashley is - I just need to take constructive criticism. 


I'm mad Melissa has a nanny. What do you do all day? I mean really...take care of your children. Oh yeah, I forgot she's in the basement singing in the studio that Joey built you. Now see, Melissa is being messy bringing all those damn cookies. I know Teresa requested a specific type of cookies, but do you need ALL those boxes? Teresa threw Melissa's cookies away...because they were store bought. If I'm going to waste calories on desserts, they better be homemade. I can go get store-bought cookies any day of the year. 


Okay, so why is Melissa dressed like a hooker? I mean, I'm just asking. It's Christmas. Put on a Bill Cosby Christmas sweater and some jeans and some heels and call it a day. 


I'm sorry. My kids are not believing in Santa. For what? I bought those damn gifts. Not some fat guy in a red suit. No Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. Nope. ALL ME AND MY HUSBAND! If you want your kids to keep their innocence, then don't bring them around Brielle, Brynne, Brayden or Blake because they WILL ruin your kid's Christmases, first tooth, etc. I'm just saying. 


Milania and Antonia are so cute. Even though, Antonia looks JUST like Melissa :/. 


I'm happy they put the past behind them, well at least for one day. 


Can't wait until next episode!